I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
