I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
