At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize