It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
