Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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