if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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