we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
