Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
