Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
