I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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