Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize