This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
