So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
