It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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