WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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