throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
