Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
