so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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