they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
