At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
