my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize