Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
