it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
