Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
