Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
