i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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