just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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