If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
