my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
