I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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