It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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