You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
