at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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