fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
