I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
