i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
