if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The adults are the big ones right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
