BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
