If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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