just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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