I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Welp...herpes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
