Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
