In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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