i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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