shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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