big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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