i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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