the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
