Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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