South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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