you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
