I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
