This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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