Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
