Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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