SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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