I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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