Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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