Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize