i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I understand Curling. That high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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