Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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