I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
