I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Shame - the story of my life.
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