He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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