I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
