I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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