I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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